10 Ways To Be An Annoying Worship Vocalist
A crass comedy piece, I would certainly hope that as you read this you will not only keep in mind that this is for entertainment purposes only but also that you would kindly insert a ‘Badoom-cha!’ (in your head) into the appropriate places.
10. Schedule terrible singers so that you really shine when you sing your solo special. This is a classic Bridezilla move: Choose not so becoming bridesmaids to ensure the bride looks extra pretty on her day.
9. Hold your microphone in any way that resembles how Elvis would have.
8. Shout, shout, let it all out! These are the things we can do without, c’mon I’m talking to you.
7. Ensure that a recording of your song just happens to be playing (on repeat) when you have your friends over that have never heard you before.
6. Be a super hero vocalist! Make sure you sing every part & harmony, so that no ones else has to.
5. Work on increasing and using your vibrato…on every song.
4. Use your spot on the team for your own little America’s Got Talent opportunity. Whether you are singing or assessing auditions, be the star & be the judge!
3. Tell everyone on the team to wear black and then show up to the night of worship in all white so that everyone knows you are extra special. This also goes well with #10.
2. Give your CD as a Christmas gift to everyone. …Three Christmases in a row.
1. The infamous ‘Sound Guy Psych Out’. Barely whisper your melodies in rehearsal so that your audio tech cranks your volume & gain and then when you go live, let ‘er rip!
Dishonorable mentions (ones that almost made it into the Top 10):
-Only choose songs that show off your operatic vocal range.
-Lament about how badly you did last Sun b/c of a cold you’ve had (for 4 months now) so that people will compliment you and help you feel less embarrassed about that sour note you hit.
-Constantly talk about your voice and throat. Because it matters more than our worship to the Lord.
-Blame the bad note on the keyboardist. Just throw them under the bus, its ok. It’s just an imaginary bus that won’t really hurt them.Comment on Facebook Comment on Twitter
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